Contest: Parody Verse

Editor’s note: David Mac wanted me to create a contest involving writing parody verse regarding Southern Gospel acts. My experience with contests, though, has been that the harder the entry criteria, the fewer entries I get—and honestly, a contest with three entries just simply doesn’t look good. So I figured that pretty much the only way to work would be to have him create the contest, and dare him to get more than 20 entries by offering him a prize, too, if it hits more than 20!

Since we have had a major cerebral workout on some very weight matters lately, I have suggested to Daniel a little light relief, with a singular twist!

I had a real chuckle at this effort by fellow regular guest commenter on this Blog, ‘Quartet-Man’ over on AN Other blog recently. Quite out of nowhere, but most aptly he came up with this piece of interesting verse / alternative southern gospel song / excruciating doggerel [pay your money – take your choice J!]

It struck me that perhaps we had stumbled on a new ‘sub-genre’ for SGM, and could at the same time encourage some ‘newbies’ to try their hand at metered verse, who knows the next Dottie Rambo might come out if a dotty-verse on the Southern Gospel Blog. Or the next Bill & Gloria may begin by co-authoring a verse or two on; Bill and Gloria.

Just to get the idea started, courtesy of the Bootleg Bard Quartet-Man, here is how it might be done [in praise of Ryan Seaton & Friends in this case]:

1. “Their tenor’s not higher than the highest,
but he’s high enough.
Their sound is good, but just a little rough.
Their reach could reach near everywhere
I wish that they’d sing more.
They’re the some time gospel sangin’, young and needed, male quartet that’s loved.

2. They left their hometowns to enter that arena
and sing the songs loved by you and me.
But then an angry crowd crucified, the sangin’ that they done
even though they sang the songs mostly for fun.
Oh, but I would never count them out
they just might win a Dove.
If they practice hard enough, this male quartet that’s loved.”

We discussed the idea of a wee competition, with a vote at the end, [maybe a prize] for the most pertinent comments on current SG groups, changes, events, releases – in rhyming verse. The thing is, and here is the kicker in the tale, the Den Master doubts his readers [shock horror, hold the front page of the Singing News!] Brother Mount is standing with his hands up in dismay, cloaked in gloom and telling me “No way! There’s not twenty in the congregation, morning night or noon, who would step up to the challenge – for a wooden spoon! [ouch!]

So, we have a three-fold agenda; write some interesting comments, find some new poets, and prove Daniel J. Mount wrong!

Brother DJM is prepared to put his money where his mouth is; here this: There will be a CD prize to be selected from a published list for the winner in each category, but only if the overall entries goes beyond TWENTY as a total of all categories! Otherwise David Mac retires shamefacedly from the fray.

SO, here is how we will attempt it, there will be three amateur categories:

Best Rhyming Verse [not song based] – Category One.

Best Song/Hymn Copy Verse – Category Two.

Best Revised ‘Signature Song’ Copy, about …. The Group who’s Sig-Song it is – Category Three.

Just to create a benchmark, and perhaps bring some lesser known name to the fore, we might open the door for a “Professional Category” – for any singer-song writer in the genre who might care to present an offering! Fame is the prize in the “Professional Category”, to CD’s – though that might well come after…

Daniel will organize a voting mechanism after a closing date yet to be agreed, so that readers and commenters may choose the “Top 101” – Hardly likely, but “Top 21” will get us into prize-winning mode. Roll Up! Write Up! & Put Up! Fame awaits the budding bard…


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82 Letters to the Editor

Southern Gospel Journal welcomes letters to the editor. We will post the most thoughtful and insightful submissions. Ground rules: Don't attack or belittle groups or fellow posters, or advance heresies rejected by orthodox Christianity. Do keep comments positive, constructive, and on topic.
  1. What a surprise this morning. I do have to give a shout out to Kyle who started that parody with a first verse (not included here). I did one here recently to the tune of Randy Travis’ 1982. I have been doing such things off and on for quite a while. I once did one to the tune of New Wine called “Shrew’s Whine”, but we won’t go there. 😉

    • I thought that you were saying Randy Travis did sing your “1996” one. Of course, I wasn’t familiar with the original.

      • No, he did the one called 1982. I just played around with it due to Daniel saying pitch correction went back to 1997.

    • We won’t?

      🙁

      • It was back then and I don’t know if I still have it and couldn’t remember all of it. Besides, part of it were in jokes that my friend and I understood, but wouldn’t be understood by others without explanation.

  2. Here’s my entry, a little homage to my favorite lead singer, with a bit of playful exaggeration.

    (To the tune of “What We Needed)

    1. There has never been all through history
    A man like Arthur Rice.
    With a range as wide as the summer sky,
    Subtle lows and highest highs.
    But no other man has a diaphragm
    As controlled and strong as his,
    And his lungs must be, at capacity,
    Large enough to hold a sea.

    Chorus
    Arthur Rice is the best lead singer ever came from the Kingsmen clan.
    Arthur Rice can outlast in a single breath longer than any singer can.
    When other singers can’t hold one note, all natural talent lost,
    Arthur Rice will be singing the same long note, showing no signs of exhaust.

  3. This will (might?) get good.

  4. Can we submit something in each category?

    • David Mac can provide the final say on this, but here’s my thinking: Each person can submit as much as they like, to their heart’s content; yet each person only counts as one toward the minimum of 20 separate individuals entering to trigger prizes. 🙂

      • I think YGG meant “may we” because of course we can. 😉

      • “May we” as in Bloggers?

        For sure – actually YGG/NSGF – Daniel’s Den would be a dull place if you blogged exclusively on AN Other site :-)!!

        I agree 21 contributors is the target to aim for, but an entry in each category would be awesome – i you are lyrically up for it!

  5. Let me clarify one important point: Keep things positive and constructive (and family-friendly) – otherwise I’ll delete that comment (like any other) and it won’t count.

    • All right, though we might get in some friendly digs all in good fun. 😉

      • I agree YGG, sort of like a roast. 😀

  6. So who is responsible for pitching these songs to the groups?

    • You, I guess! 🙂

      • Hey, I don’t work in marketing! 🙂

      • How’s this work: The prize, if over 20 people submit entries, will be a demo recorded by the Den Master himself.

      • Uh-oh.

        😮

        😆

      • I’ll volunteer YGG for the honors, since she’s a better singer. 🙂

      • Awwwwww. But I would have to consent first. 😀

  7. This should be fun 🙂 . I’m going to a writer’s guild meeting tonight… so maybe I’ll pick u a little inspiration 😉

  8. I’m Adding A Bridge
    (Sing to the tune of “I’m Building A Bridge”)

    Verse:
    I’m adding a bridge
    To this new Gospel Song
    I don’t think it’s good enough
    To stand on it’s own
    If sung by itself
    Its chances are dim
    So, let’s add some lines
    From an old Gospel hymn

    Chorus:
    I’m adding a bridge, (Yes, I am adding a bridge)
    To this Gospel song (Yes, to this Gospel song)
    Doesn’t matter to me (It does not matter to me)
    If it sounds right or wrong (If it sounds right or wrong)
    I really don’t care if you get overwrought (If you get overwrought)
    What terrifies me is an original thought (An original thought)

    Bridge:
    Like a bridge over troubled waters
    I will lay me down

    Tag:
    What terrifies me…Is an original thought!

    • OK. I like it!

    • HAHAHAHAHA!

      Okay, I obviously don’t have a chance. Y’all are poets and didn’t know it. 😀

    • 😀

    • Now this is what we are looking for;

      Clever topical subject, double entendre, good lyrics and ‘singable’ to a recognised tune!

      A top drawer effort, and something to aim at. Maybe a prize effort CG!

      • Just wait, I’m in the middle of writing one of my own. But I won’t give out the idea for fear somebody steals it. 😀

  9. *Piano arpeggio*
    Puuuuuuuuut…
    Aaaaaaaa…
    Twen- (twen) ty (ty) in (in) the (the) plate (twenty in the plate)
    Can’t you tell (tell) we (we) have- (have-) n’t (n’t) ate (we haven’t ate)
    With the price (price) of (of) gas (gas), oh we might (might) not (not) last (last)
    On these love (love) of- (of) –fer- (-fer-) –ring (ring) dates (love off’ring dates)
    We will sing (sing) that (that) fast (fast) song (song) twice (that fast song twice)
    Get our new (new) C (C) D (D) half (half) price (just today half price)
    We sure hope (hope) you’re (you’re) blessed (blessed), but (but) we could get some rest
    If you’ll just put a twenty in the plate

    Did you come prepared a dime to give? (dime to give)
    Did you know that’s how that we can live? (how we live)
    Now, we know that times are tough
    And God will provide enough
    But the Lord would love to use you in this way…

    Put a twen- (twen) ty (ty) in (in) the (the) plate (twenty in the plate)
    Can’t you tell (tell) we (we) have- (have-) n’t (n’t) ate (we haven’t ate)
    With the price (price) of (of) gas (gas), oh we might (might) not (not) last (last)
    On these love (love) of- (of) –fer- (-fer-) –ring (ring) dates (love off’ring dates)
    We will sing (sing) that (that) fast (fast) song (song) twice (that fast song twice)
    Get our new (new) C (C) D (D) half (half) price (just today half price)
    We sure hope (hope) you’re (you’re) blessed (blessed), but (but) we could get some rest
    If you’ll just put a twenty in the plate (fill up that pooooor plaaaaate)

    • now that’s funny! Give the world a smile will never be the same!

    • Some truth in there. 😀

      • I’m thinking this one may indeed get picked up by one or more groups!

      • Any group that takes love offering dates should add it!

    • Brian, that was a stroke of genius!!! I love it!!

      • It msy be, if this kind of quality continues to ramp, that – just maybe – some friendly SG quartet or scrap iron group might just run out a wee ‘home-piano-demo’ of the winner in each category!

        A Gerald Wolfe special on You-Tube would be truly awesome 🙂

        Don’t forget: Daniel will, hopefully, grade to entries into each category – if the numbers make it worthwhile!

        May the fire burn…..

    • Okay, Brian, that was great!! 😆 We love it! Ben, Sam, and I had an inspiration for two more verses for your parody. (Not as good as yours, but they fit…kind-of)

      Vs. 2
      “We don’t want to be rude (don’t be rude),
      But our mananger is shrewd (very shrewd);
      Every cent we get
      Goes to his pocket,
      It puts us in-a bad mood.”

      Vs. 3
      “The way we’re run is sad (very sad),
      So we need your money bad (very bad);
      The living we make
      Barely fills the tank,
      If we get home we’ll be glad.”

      “Put a twenty in the…” etc.

      😀

      -T for TGF

      • You guys should win just for getting a word like shrewd in there.

  10. Jesus Cristo o único SENHOR E SALVADOR da humanidade!

    Deus abençoe!

    • Jesus may indeed be the only Lord and Saviour of mankind…

      But, mon amigo, per favore, ita no rhyme, comprenez? 🙂

  11. Okay, here’s mine. Shout-out to Steve Eaton, he’ll like this one:

    Let’s Talk About Group Change…Amen

    We could all spend December,
    Talking ‘bout group members
    And what we think they’re gonna do
    We could look at that guy,
    Try to figure out why
    State our point of view
    We may waste the gift of precious time
    (That lineup’s gonna change,
    Come rain or shine)
    But the fun that we have,
    It suits me just fine

    Let’s talk about group change…Amen
    Let’s talk about group change…Amen
    Well I know we’ve told that story before
    But I wanna hear that story once more
    So let’s talk, talk, talk about group change
    Amen, Amen

    Let’s have a conversation
    About the Something-ations
    And how they’re not the group they used to be
    Though we’re still in doubt
    Some counted them out
    We’ll have to wait and see

    We looked at one group, said,
    “That’s the lineup we want!”
    But then next week,
    “Oh, wait, he’s gone…”
    So thanks to him,
    We’re singing this song…

    Let’s talk about group change…Amen
    Let’s talk about group change…Amen
    Well I know we’ve told that story before
    But I wanna hear that story once more
    So let’s talk, talk, talk about group change
    Amen, Amen

    Oh yes, we’ve hashed (we’ve thrashed)
    It out (it out)
    Through all these years….
    And with that time (that time)
    We could (we could)
    Have done those things we said we would
    Could have done (have done)
    Somethin’ (somethin’)
    Instead of doing nothin’
    Amen, Amen, Amen
    Amen…

    But let’s talk about group change…Amen
    Let’s talk about group change…Amen
    Well I know we’ve told that story before
    But I wanna hear that story once more
    So let’s talk, talk, talk about group change
    Amen, Amen

    • Funny, yankeegospelgirl! We sang it through entirely, as “Let’s Talk about Jesus” was one of our favorite songs years ago. 🙂

      -Taylor and Leesha

      • Thanks! We’re still waiting on y’all’s entry(ies). 🙂

    • I liked this one when I saw it last night. It was surprisingly appropriate. Ya know, I just may pitch these to some groups! (Daniel’s heading for a restraining order right now.)

      • I assigned you the publicity role, right? 🙂

        No restraining orders coming from this office! 🙂

  12. Aw, come on guys. We’ve got four entries now counting mine. Only 17 more to go!

    • Five if we count the Garms co-authoring!

  13. If it wasn’t already written and performed by someone else, I’d submit this for the contest: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHM21caUSgE

  14. I’ll submit one. I just need some time to get my creative juices flowing (it may take a while)

  15. Alright, got my chorus done. The poor grammar was intentional.

    Is that burning lead….I smell
    Getting older so my nose don’t work so well
    David created a contest…..to see who writes the bestest
    Is that burning lead that I smell

    • My immediate perception was “burning diesel,” I guess like “diesel sniffers,” but it doesn’t really fit with the theme of your song.

      • I was torn between lead or ink.

      • Still the jotter and pencil;
        When the pressure gets mental?
        Now we gotta respect Old Bill,
        Him an Gloria way over the hill?
        He’ll pop up before too long,
        With another “Freedom Song”
        Then we’ll all feel pretty daft,
        We haven’t cracked this writing craft.

        Maybe Dianne will join the fray,
        Though George n’ Glen won’t have a say!
        Ernie can too, if Joel helps,
        We haven’t heard from Mr Phelps.
        Can the “Giant” write a little?
        Sonya will harmonise on the fiddle,
        If the Isaacs come to play
        In our gospel parody!

      • meltin’ works better than burnin’ –

        Took me a wee minute to catch the tune. Can we post up the appropriate parody tunes please?

        I had a brain fade here then George kicked in with the bass line in my head!

        [‘Wedding Music’ for any newbies! :-)]

      • My pastor says every Sunday “get ready to burn some lead takin’ notes”, thats where I got that from.

  16. Speaking of Wedding…

    I’ve got a parody lyrics that that I wrote to Mosie Lister’s “First Day In Heaven”. I titled it “The Day of Your Wedding”! I’ll try and dig it up!

    • Sounds good, get it posted Matt!

  17. I wrote and recorded a parody to “Man Of Constant Sorrow” several years ago, but it would not be appropriate for the family audience of this blog. LOL

  18. I finally had the time to do one.

    Parody of the Kingsmen song, Excuses:

    Excuses, excuses you hear them every day
    why members leave a group they’re in where they work for little pay.
    When personnel changes happen, the folks seldom just muses
    So to keep them rumors deep at bay, they offer them excuses.

    The owner says the baritone has a new child or a wife,
    but sometimes the real truth might be there was a little strife
    You gotta watch them quartet owners, they’ll crack the whip
    and make you work so doggone hard, without giving a tip.

    You got a migraine Sunday morning and a backache Sunday night
    from loading up the sound system and rushing to get a bite.
    At some late night truck stop, or maybe a convenience store
    But don’t spend too much money, or the fans just might be sore.

    Why the sound system’s hard to hear, but some say it’s loud
    The soundman tries hard to please everyone who’s in the crowd.
    One says turn it up, the other says turn it down.
    Not doing either one, is sure to get some frowns.

    Why the bus is way too hot and in the winter it’s too cold.
    And you have to deal with certain fans who get a little bold.
    Some of those will say you are a stuck up man
    and tell everyone who listens “he didn’t even shake my hand.”

    Excuses, excuses you hear them every day
    why members leave a group where they work for little pay.
    When personnel changes happen, the folks seldom just muses
    So to keep them rumors deep at bay, they offer them excuses.

    Why the group acts too darned serious, or maybe have too much fun
    they might stand still and sing, or they might take off and run.
    No matter which they do, someone will complain
    and think that they are sinners, and start a raisin’ cane.

    It seems you cannot win, no matter what you do,
    but you have to smile and say “I hope God blesses you”.
    You might be tired and hungry, with a sick one left at home
    Or your toupee might be itchin’ you, deep within your dome

    But a smile you have to wear, ’cause the crowd depends on you
    To sing your heart out every night, and take away their blues.
    You might please several people, although that’s hard to do
    But when the offering time arrives they leave to go the Loo.

    Excuses, excuses you hear them every day
    why members leave a group where they work for little pay.
    When personnel changes happen, the folks seldom just muses
    So to keep them rumors deep at bay, they offer them excuses.

    Why the bass part is too low, or the tenor part’s too high
    You’re better suited for lead or baritone that’s the reason why.
    These might be the real truth, or they just might be white lies
    You might just have an ego, and think you are a prize.

    Or to sing those ending notes, you need a lot of breath
    And the only excuse for missing a date, your boss accepts is death.
    So you sing the best you can, it’s allergies you suppose,
    And you try to turn youself around when you have to blow your nose.

    Excuses, excuses you hear them every day
    why members leave a group where they work for little pay.
    When personnel changes happen, the folks seldom just muses
    So to keep them rumors deep at bay, they offer them excuses

    Well, the work conditions you endure, are really hard to take
    and you’d really like to tell the boss to go jump in the lake
    But you persevere and endure and hope for a better day
    And try to keep the faith, and continually pray

    Well, the bus driver might drive like a granny or like Gordon
    But you go onstage day in and out, and sing about the Jordan.
    Your groupmate might just have the world’s most stinky breath
    And you find yourself in prayer, asking God for your death

    But there is no escape on the bus, or anywhere in sight
    and you might be the only one who is aware of your plight
    Well, doing this day in and out, you finally have enough
    Why a prisoner in jail, might not have it this rough.

    So, you give your resignation, but you say it’s family
    That’s causing you to quit the group, you “”really hate to leave.”
    You start a solo ministry, to “sing when convenient for you”
    But you might be in another group, within a month or two.

    Excuses, excuses you hear them every day
    why members leave a group where they work for little pay.
    When personnel changes happen, the folks seldom just muses
    So to keep them rumors deep at bay, they offer them excuses.
    Well, now you just might know, the truth behind excuses.

    • Whoa. Move over _Paradise Lost_. I think quartet-man just penned the new definitive epic.

      😀

    • Oh, and I wish the “He didn’t even shake my hand” line existed only in the realm of parody, but unfortunately, people really can be just like that.

      • Thanks, and yeah, although I exaggerated in places, I think most of what I wrote has been true one time or another.

      • Q-M, This doesn’t need a bridge – it needs an intermission :-)!

        Good composition and some sober thoughts though. It is a thing of wonder how often “family” is cited in business life, mission work, gospel music….

        It is a wonder of grace that any of our children are able to carry all the burdens we put on them.

      • You are right, David. People often think of the spouses and their having to raise kids on their own, but sometimes don’t think of the kids who are without a parent for much of the time. Perhaps even worse are the kids whose parents take them on extended mission trips. Talk about sacrifices.

    • I predict that this one will be the winner! Q-M, you seem to have a special talent here! 🙂

      • Thanks, Daniel.

      • It probably will be the winner, although the scanning is somewhat off in places. 😉

      • Scanning? I took a few liberties with rhythms and order (verse / chorus etc.) but it works if done like I have it in mind.

      • Well I meant that if you sang your words to the song’s tune, it wouldn’t flow along quite right.

      • Well, I didn’t take the time on the narration to make sure each matched the original’s number of syllables. As far as the chorus, it works with a little modification. What I had in mind was you have to use two sixteenths on the words “where they” in the second line and the “personn” portion of personnel in the third. Then it fits the melody. Basically you are adding an extra note in those two places instead of the one note, but singing the two twice as fast.

    • Typo: It should have said “go visit the loo”. Also, it appears the saying “raisin’ Cain” should have used Cain from the Bible. I never knew where the saying came from, just what it means. 🙂

  19. THought I’d do something positive to make up for my previos nastiness. It’s not as goo, though…only spent about 10 minutes on it and it doesn’t have a bridge….

    The Gaither Vocal Band
    (Tune: Bloodwashed Band)

    We’re a band of Gospel singers
    The most famous group today
    We’re singing with Bill Gaither
    And he gives us our pay
    We’re on TV every week
    And we’re in great demand
    We are the members
    Of the Gaither Vocal Band

    Chorus
    Praise God I’m a member of the Gaither Vocal Band
    I sing on videos that are sold in every land
    I once sang in high school gyms
    ‘Til one day the Bill Gaither came
    And made me a member
    Of the Gaither Vocal Band

    Verse
    Mark is being funny
    Michael’s singing with soul
    David’s always awesome
    On a power ballad song
    Wes can do it all
    And Bill’s bass will fit right in
    And they’ll get a huge ovation
    For the Gaither Vocal Band

  20. *Here’s the first entry from our family, attribute it to whoever you think wrote it (we’re not telling!). We may give out a prize to who guesses the writer’s identity! [Not really.] (BTW: The home has been filled with insanely stupid parodies for the past few days, thank you very much, David Mac!) 😀

    Cathedral Quartet Signature Song for Parody Verse Contest: Category Three

    To the tune of “WEDDING MUSIC”

    Chorus:

    Is that Glen and George, I hear?

    Faithful to their callin’, through the years.

    Tenors would come and go,

    Baritones would leave also,

    yet the witness of the Cathedral’s perseveres!

    Verse 1:

    A sound as sweet as heaven, to my ears.

    A Gospel message to calm my fears.

    What peace and joy in knowing,

    That we’ll never lose their singing,

    Though the group has been disbanded for twelve years.

    [Chorus]

    Verse 2:

    O the men who joined their ranks were stellar;

    From Clark to Fowler, they were the best.

    Think of all the talent

    The Lord gave to the quartet,

    And the heritage that we now enjoy!

    [Chorus]

    Verse 3:

    The Cathedrals sang their songs for Jesus;

    Honor more than that, they did not seek.

    God’s rewarding touch,

    for their service to all of us,

    is the way our lives have changed, because of them!

    [Chorus]

    [Big Finish!]

    Tenors would come and go,

    Baritones would leave also,

    yet the witness of; O yes the witness of; the Cathedral’s perseveres!

    • I’m guessing Taylor or Leesha?

      • I can’t tell – but I like it already!

        We may not get to “21 Entries”, but the obvious enjoyment in composition that shines out is wholesome, and a little mental discipline in there too…

        Some more?

      • Leesha says it wasn’t her, and Taylor here denies authorship. Ben remains silent on the matter, though. 😉

  21. OK, everyone – if you’ve been pondering a submission, get it up! I’m looking to close the contest at midnight tonight.

    (OK, I say that because it sounds better, but in point of fact I’ll accept any entries through when I wake up, somewhere around or not too long after 5 AM EDT.)

    • Oh dear. I count only six unique contributors so far, I think?

      😯

      • Yep. ‘Tis about what I suspected.

    • WE’RE PANICKING!!!! We’re not finished yet with several masterpieces! And it is midnight here in Minnesota! (Don’t ask why we’re up this late.) HELP! 😯 You must know how long it takes to write a decent song!

      Okay songwriters, start your pens!

      -BLT for TGF

      • I think we wrapped up a bit early!

        The fire sure burning late in the Garm’s Household!

        Keep it up guys! Recognition will come in His own time:-)

  22. I don’t see why I can’t submit my fun number, just a little bit tongue in cheek:

    [Chorus]
    Standing my the stage door cold and damp (cold and damp)
    Gazing (I’m a gazing) out across the loading ramp (across the greasy loading ramp)
    Standing, (I’m a standing) to recover from the fuss,
    Trying to remember just where I parked the bus (the brand new bus)

    [Verse]
    Standing there waitin’ when I saw the Easter’s coach wouldn’t start!
    Stanging there watching, when Jeff came by pushing a battery cart.
    Trying to get a glimpse of the daughter at the window way up high,
    The engine caught and Jeff said, “Mud in your eye!” (Mud in your eye!)
    [Verse}
    Standing there thinking, who’s got the biggest bus?
    Gaither TV’s royalties sure are a mighty plus!
    Bill says, “Gloria maybe it’s time we hit the sack,
    Sure we got a king size bed up there in the back” (there in the back!)
    [Verse]
    Standing right there when Ernie stops for a rest,
    Says, “I forgot which colour now?” – did he jest?
    The old girl was worn out do ya think Im dim?
    Sure I made a profit outta Phil and Kim (Phil n Kim)

  23. Well, here goes nothing. We’ll submit what we have finished…or unfinished.
    ———————————–
    “OH, OH MY, WHAT A HEADACHE!”
    (To the tune of “Oh, My Lord, What a Time”)
    by Ben, Sam, Leesha, and Taylor
    ————————————

    Oh, oh my, what a headache! (Mmm, mmm)

    Oh, oh my, what a headache! (Uh huh)

    From this loud place I leave,

    to retain my sanity,

    Oh, oh my, what a headache! (Mmm, mmm)

    Oh my poor ears, they cannot take no more

    The group is good, but end up shaking the floor.

    The sound man’s deaf, or just pretends to be;

    can’t they see they’re angering me?

    Turn down the volume (it is hurtin’ my ears),

    right now (I think I’m going deaf),

    or else (oh, what would you do?)

    I’ll finally leave!

    Bridge:
    (Oo……) Oh, my head, my throbbing temples,
    my aching eardrums, my pounding brain, my racing heart, my shakin’ knees…

    Oh, oh my, what a headache!

    [The rest is unfinished, due to a pressing contest deadline 🙂 ]

    ————————————-
    To the tune of “I Don’t Want to Live No More Without Jesus”
    by Taylor (with a little of Ben’s help)
    ————————————-
    Chorus:
    I don’t wanna travel no more without a tour bus.
    I don’t want the hotels
    I don’t want the motels
    Or lack of sleep.

    I don’t wanna travel no more without a tour bus.
    It would be so regal
    Riding in an Eagle
    All night long.

    Vs. 1
    Many times we have debated
    The purpose of a bus,
    With all the gas and fix-it costs
    It’s probably more a fuss.
    But compared to this ole sedan
    Packed tight with lots of things
    Riding in a fancy Prevost
    Would make us seem like kings.
    ———————————–

    It’s late. That’s why these songs are so pathetic. Oh well. We were trying to write a jingle for SouthernGospelBlog.com, but we won’t share it until it’s finished completely.

    Allow us to share a diddy from the Garms Family Vaults/Faults of Eccentric Little Songs. The authorship is attributed to Leesha and sung to the chorus of Fanny Crosby’s “To God Be the Glory”:

    “I did my best, I did my best,
    That I could do.
    I did my best, I did my best,
    And that’s the truth.
    Oh please, don’t be angry,
    Just bear with me,
    ‘Cause I did my best, as you can see.”

    Goodnight.

    -BLT for TGF

    😀

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