Sony’s Thoughts: Missing Loved Ones

Alfred Lord Tennyson said, “‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” This quote came to mind as I was listening to a man talk about his wife of 47 years, 7 months and 1 day who died a little over a year ago. He talked about how they were together all the time, how much he loved her, and how much he misses her. He also told me, though, that he doesn’t spend time going to her grave because he knows she’s not there. She’s in a better place and he knows he’ll see her again.

I couldn’t help but admire his faith. I could tell by talking with him that, as difficult as it’s been since her death, he wouldn’t wish her back and he wouldn’t trade one moment he had with her while she lived.

First Corinthians 15:55 says, “ O death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?” For the Believer, although it’s still sad to say goodbye to those close to us, we need to remember that our loved one has just finished his or her race ahead of us. If they know the Lord and if we do, we will see them again. Maybe it would be a good idea to remember the ways they sowed into our lives, the seeds they planted. Maybe some of those seeds, we can pass onto others. What better way to let their memory live on. Mostly, I would challenge you not to lose your song. Death may be the end of the world as we know it but it’s an entrance into a much more beautiful world, and it just makes Heaven sound sweeter every day!

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  1. This reminds me of what Scott Fowler has said about losing his dad when he was only 19. Although the pain was great, he said his dad had already taught him so much in such a short time, and that he’s carried that with him all his life. The truth and values Scott’s father passed on to him will never die, even though he himself is no longer with us. May we all leave such a legacy.

    • Amen! That is my prayer.

  2. Have you seen the news story recently about the woman in Pennsylvania who kept her husband’s corpse on a sofa in her garage for over 10 years? Then, her twin sister died recently & she had the sister dug up; kept her in the spare bedroom. She was finally found out; when asked why she would do this, she said that she couldn’t bear to live without them & just having their bodies near her was better than never seeing them again.
    Or…the mayor of a small town in Texas last week who shot her 19-yr-old daughter & herself to death because the husband/father died of cancer 2 years ago & they just couldn’t go on without him.
    THIS is when Death has the victory. THIS is what Paul was talking about when he said that “we do not grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope.”
    Our assurance of the Eternal is what separates our response to the inevitable end of life from the response of those that don’t have that faith & hope. We have it – they need it.

    “Then go to a world that is dying, His perfect salvation to tell…”

    • I did not hear those reports but thank you for sharing those illustrations. What a blessing that we don’t have to go to those extremes to feel close to our loved ones. And, yes, we need to keep sharing our Hope with others.

  3. Thank you Sony for this post. Like most things you write, it was very timely for me. My Mom passed away July 12, 2005 from colon cancer. I was 20 at the time. This past Monday marked 5 years since her passing and it has been somewhat of a sad week for me. Thanks for the reminder of hope!